Following today's thoughts ...

1. 12:34 P.M. EST:

This afternoon during a meeting I wondered what my co-worker looked like naked. This is a first for me.

He has an excellent body; one that wears that grey-blue, blue sweater well. Very well. So well, in fact, I felt the sudden urge to take it off him right there in the conference room. So I did.

Next I took hold of his belt and slipped it slowly through each loop of his jeans. I moved down and took off his shoes, slid both of his socks off, moved back up and undid his button, slowly unzipped his zipper, slid his boxers off with ease -- Hanes. Not surprised.

I then stoodd back. Admiring.

He was still while he watched and listened intently to the
feasibly-lovely-yet-effete presentation.

I imagined him naked. It worked. And there he stood. Absolutely beautiful. No David ... but almost.

The male body is a wonderful thing when done correctly.

We shared that moment in my head, in the conference room. He still doesn't know; he never will.

It was bizarre. His body - your body - is gorgeously, indifferentlty, bizarre.

2. 2:31 P.M. EST:

There is a sad, sad, angry demon that lives inside my Blackberry. I have a strange feeling this demon is in love with me.

Though I embrace it I will never return this love. That is why he keeps vibrating. Furiously in my purse, the palm of my hand, on my newspaper, atop my pillow.

I will never set him free. Ever.

I like it that way.

3. 3:15 P.M. EST:

A week ago this individual gave me his music to listen to; So I did. I liked it.

I looked him up and sent him an email. Five days ago.

He hasn't responded.

I am left forlorn and empty. Maybe slightly dirty; and find myself no longer enjoying the sound of his voice.

I feel weak; I know you feel my weakness, too. And that's okay.

4. 3:19 P.M. EST:

This ridiculous muffin is calamitous; I'll eat it anyway. I'm picky, but up for an adventure.

Why not?

5. 4:21 P.M. EST:

I should wear this shirt more often. My cleavage is fantastic.

6. 5:02 P.M. EST: On the Metro:

There is a silence in my life that has come undone.

Being single is difficult for someone like me.

Why? It's annoyingly simple: I have to find my own way to numb the time instead of relying on another to do it for me.

It's the quiet that bothers me most. Everything is so quiet when one is alone. So quiet.

Shhhhh. Rose.

My mouth doesn't move as much as it used to, nor do my eyes. Time is slower which eventually tempts me to drink or smoke or spend money, watch idiotic films, dive into self-induced romantic fantasies.

This week alone I've been engaged (eh), married (interesting) and have fantasized flying off to Rome and Spain and Brazil and Singapore with a man I barely even know (colorful).

It killed a few hours.

Just imagine. I've lived another life in just a few hours.

This is the taste of loneliness. And it's interestingly sweet. Like a good gin & tonic (familiar).

With lime.